See...
I just took a moment to re read through my pregnancy posts and just had to laugh to myself. In all of the posts, I kept saying "he took it easy on me", "he's been so easy on me", and "it was such an easy pregnancy". Well he must have been saving it up for his grand entrance into the world, because there was nothing easy about May 17, 2011.
No, seriously.
He. Did. Not. Want. To. Come. Out.
We left bright and early for the hospital. I was able to consume the last "but it's for the baby" McDonald's breakfast meal before we took on the day. I must say, I wasn't THAT nervous during the ride to the hospital. It was a eerie peaceful feeling.
Soon after we checked in, they got me hooked up to the piticion, the nurse left our room and it was just me, Greg and the TODAY show. I guess since I was still in no pain, what was about to happen hadn't hit me yet. We entered the hospital as Greg and Amy, but were going to leave as Mommy and Daddy.
After an hour or so, my nurse, that Em and I have affectionately named Velvetta, came back to check on me. Still no pain and already 3 cm dilated thanks to my foley ball. Velvetta mentioned that if I was in the least bit of pain I may want to go ahead and put in an "order" for my epidural as there may be a wait later on. I passed because I had heard so many horror stories of epidurals wearing off because they were given too soon and based on what the all of the books say yada, yada, yada.
Gosh.
You readers are quick.
Yes. Yes, you are right. This is a classic example of foreshadowing.
About an hour to and hour and a half later, my contractions had creeped up on me and I was having full blown contractions. At one point I remember opening my eyes after having one and the whole room (my mom and Em had joined us by this point) just staring at me. Like a deer in headlights. Even a mouth or two slightly open. Silent. After I made the first motion at communication they all resumed normal activity.
Andddd at this point I wanted the drugs. The contractions came on so fast, I just couldn't take it anymore. I thought that I would have plenty of time to determine when I was ready for the good stuff, but it all happened so fast. They literally came from no where.
Velvetta was right. The anesthesiologist was tied up in a C-section and I would have to wait. By this point, things were a little tense. I always knew labor was going to hurt. But until you are in the moment, there is no way to mentally prepare on how intense it would be. I was somehow able to breath thru them. When my nurse came back to check on me, she offered something to take the edge off and I happily obliged. That puppy worked wonders. I was able to unclench my hands and literally take a breather. Soon after that, the anesthesiologist was there to administer the epidural.
During my pregnancy I had been most afraid of this moment. I was so worried about the pain from that big ole fat needle. Because duh....after they give you the shot you don't feel anything silly. So I kept telling myself, that it will all be better after the epidural. Just get to the epidural, get to the epidural. The epidural was finally here and since I was feeling pretty good from what Velvetta had slipped into my IV, the epidural was not bad at all. After a horrible reaction to the epidural (BP went crazy and they had to counteract with some meds), I settled back down and I thought that I was now on the gravy train. I thought I would have time to do my make up, my hair, crack jokes with everyone and take last minute bets on what Parker would look like. Ha! After an hour nap, I woke up and visited with everyone for a little while when the nurse came back to check on me. I was moving right along with dilation when something started to feel a bit different.... I was starting to feel my contractions again. First just faintly but after an hour, I was having full blown contractions again. Damn. What?! I was supposed to have full make up on, hair perfect, ready to push and be on my merry way people. This was not in the game plan. I called for the nurse, explained what was going on and she ordered another epidural right away. This time after about 45 minutes, the head anesthesiologist walks in to do my second epidural. We wait for a break in my full blown contractions and then he goes for it. Nothing. He has to pull out and start all over. On to my third epidural needle.....
After finally feeling some relief from the pain, I was able to rest. Once again I thought that this was it - the rest of labor was going to be a piece of cake. I was just going to sit back, relax, and push when they tell me to push. By this point my body was aching and already sore and I was mentally drained. After my short respite, something started feeling a bit too familiar. Wait. What? No! Not again! Here come the contractions creeping back again. First they were not too bad in pain, but soon they were off the charts again.
Thanks to the picotin, by mid afternoon, I had already reached 10 cm. When Velvetta checked, Parker was not where he was supposed to be in the birth canal. He was still quite cozy where he was and he wasn't planning on moving any time soon. After speaking with our mid wife Karen Carroll and the nurse, we decided that even though my pain was very intense, to work through the contractions because they didn't want to give me more pain medication. If they were to give me more medication they were scared I wouldn't be able to push "where" I needed to push. They wanted me to pinpoint the contractions, focus on that point, and push to that point. I went with what they were saying; after all I did trust them fully. They wanted Parker to move down on his own. Karen said that I COULD start pushing to try to help move him along, but I would be pushing a long long time and I would just tire myself out. So we decided to wait.
And that we did.
We waited and waited and waited. Just ask Emily. She waited a long long time in the waiting room with two very anxious grandmothers. We owe her big time as the stories she tells us deserve their very own post.
As a side note: I was in so much pain at this point that Greg was trying to be sweet by playing my beloved Josh Groban on his iphone. He was hoping that this would help with my pain management. The sound quality from his speaker phone was terrible and I was in SO much pain that I snapped at him and yelled to him to turn it off. Gasp! I know! With that, Greg and I both knew that these contractions meant business.
Each time Velvetta would check me, she would say...he's just not there yet. But this whole time I was still contracting. Hard, sharp, mind altering pain.
I read somewhere about a woman wanted to go all natural with her delivery. At one point the pain was so intense that her only comfort was to visualize her shrunken self in the palm of her calming husband's hand. An out-of-body experience if you will. After reading that I thought the lady was a total nut job, but now, after going through that myself, I 100% understand what she was talking about. I knew I was physically there, but mentally I was numb. It's as if I was beside my physical body, coaching and cheering my mental self on from the side lines. That even sounds really strange to re read, but it is exactly what it was like. You truly take your mind to a different place.
After working through the pain the only way I could, Karen arrived at the hospital and examined the situation. All of my pain had finally paid off and Mr. Parker was where he needed to be. Karen looked at me and asked for me to give her a practice push. It was strong enough for what she was looking for. She ran out to deliver another baby (you read that right) and she was right back. She looked at me and said it was go time. I looked at Greg and thought "ok, it's finally here".
After 45 minutes of pushing, she said we were getting close.
About half way through though I thought about giving up. I just couldn't do it anymore. I thought I was not making any headway and my attempts were for nothing. Velvetta, whom at this point had stayed past her shift, got in my face. Karen had put me on my side in an attempt to make my pushing more effective. Velvetta came to my side of the bed, LITERALLY got 2 inches from my face, and with her onion breath and all,told my sweat trenched face, I could do this and that SHE hadn't stayed after her shift for nothing. With that, Greg pushed me back up and I got my head back in the game. I some how found the strengthen I needed for my final pushes and before I knew it I had an 8 lb 2 oz baby boy on my stomach.
That is my first sweet memory of my son - the warmth of his tiny body on mine.
I knew I had done it.
The emotions that you feel from the first sightings are indescribable.
He was perfect.
Greg cut the umbilical cord and followed him when the nurses took him to check his vitals. I will never forget looking up and see Velvetta smiling down at Parker. Parker must have given her a smile because she excitedly said "he has one dimple!" "I've been looking at your daddy's dimple ALL day!" Oh Velvetta.
After cleaning him up and finishing me up, they brought my clean, swaddled baby over to me. Greg and I just stared at him.
I don't remember us saying anything to each other. We just stared at him. Silent. Afterall, what words can capture your emotions at that moment? I was speechless. It's such a sweet moment that will forever be etched into my memory.
Shortly after, Greg went out to the waiting room to share the news.
When they entered the room, they pulled the curtain back and all of them paused, looked at me holding Parker and teared up.
And I gave them same reaction back.
